Affirmations For Children

Here's a picture of Jack in Florida.  He's Just made his own Pizza.  It's going off to the oven to be cooked.  Looks good doesn't it?  I think we've got a little chef on our hands. 

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I love affirmations and I try to use them with my son as often as possible.  A word of warning here.  Make your affirmations natural and genuine.

You're a great listener (when he's sat quietly and listened to you even for 1 minute)
You are so clever, you read so well
You are great at riding your bike
I love you (Yes, this is a very powerful affirmation which is sometimes overlooked)
You are such an important part of this family
You are so polite.

I'm sure you can add many more to this list.  Always use the present tense and always be positive.
As parents, it's actually easy to slip up and give out a negative message without meaning to.  A few weeks I was tired and a little short tempered and my son was getting all his toys out.  We have a rule of put one lot of toys away before you get more out.  He doesn't always remember and normally I just remind him and he sorts it.  However as I was already tired and not in the best mood already I said (in a grumpy mummy voice) "Aargh Jack you're driving me crazy.  You're so messy.  If you don't tidy up in the next 5 minutes they will all go in the bin."  Wow, was I in a bad mood.  My son however, up until that point had been in a very good mood then began getting angry.  He felt I was being a mean mummy, which of course I was.

This not so good scene carried on  for a few minutes, until I finally had that "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" moment.  I took hold of my son, took a deep breath and quietly said to him.  "I'm sorry, mummy is feeling tired and grumpy.  I was wrong to say that to you."  I went on to explain he still needed to tidy away some of his toys and I went and lay down on my bed for 5 minutes.  I closed my eyes and just let it all go.  I then went through the things I love about my son and the things I have to be grateful for.  When I returned to the room a few minutes later Jack was busy playing with his cars and all his other toys had been tidied away. 
I made it a priority to use plenty of positive affirmations for the rest of that day.

I think most of us have the odd day when we know we're doing it all wrong.  It's not the end of the world.  As long as your child knows that he is loved and you say sorry and put things right, it's okay.  Here are my 3 rules for when we get it wrong.

• Recognize we're not behaving the way we like
• Stop, say "Sorry" and take a breather.
• Move on using positive parenting.

The move on part is essential.  If you dwell on it your child will feel it and for you it's like emotionally beating yourself up.  It serves no purpose.  Move on and be a positive role model for your kids.  NOBODY gets it right all the time.