Do You Want Family Life To Be More Peaceful?

I want to remind you that the TeleSeminar Series for parents and teachers called the Raising Conscious Kids TeleSummit is fast approaching!

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These leaders will cover current challenges such as child obesity, raising healthy eaters, child/teen depression, how to help your kids do better in school, helping kids harness the power of their minds, emotional intelligence, happiness, emotional well-being, spiritual well-being, and so much more!

As you probably would agree, many parents and teachers are stressed out and overwhelmed these days. This leaves a toll on kids and teens.

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Happy parenting

Wendy xx

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Playtime Issues, Recorder Practice, Jigsaws and a Puppy

This week seems to have rushed by, It certainly seems to have got to Friday very quickly. I love the weekends though so I'm fine with that. 

This week Jack has had a problem with a boy at school.  The boy in question told Jack he was not allowed to play with him and the rest of the kids Jack usually plays with.  Icould see this situation was really bothering my son (9). 

I asked my son to keep saying this positive affirmation.  I'm a great kid and I have lots of wonderful friends.  I always have lots of people toplay with at break time.

I asked him to imagine playing his favourite games at break time with his normal friends and I also asked him to welcome in other kids.

The boy kept doing the same thing throughout the week but it had no where near the same impact on Jack or the other kids. 

While Jack is at school I also affirm that jack is a great kid, he is happy and confident, he makes friends easily and he attracts wonderful friends who like him just the way he is.

I also did some role play with Jack and helped him with posture to project a positive image.  A wonderful resource and a real breakthrough in this area is Izzy Kalman's website http://www.bullies2buddies.com/

Recorder Practice

Today Jack is having a friend over for lunch.  They have a music project to complete which means they have to practice asong on the recorder this afternoon.  I have to admit I'm not looking forward to that.  I think I'll suggest they practice in Jack's room. 

Jigsaws and Puppies Do Not Go Well Together!

What was I thinking?  Obviously not a lot when I decided to buy a 1000 piece Simpsons jigsaw puzzle.  Our puppy has eaten or chewed at least 20 pieces.  I'm determined to finish it today, perhaps I'll get it done whilst Jack and his friend do recorder practice.

Happy weekend wishes to you all.


Here's Lola - Our beautiful Jigsaw piece eating puppy.



Love Reading, Misbehaving, Law of Attraction Parenting and Listening

I've been busy writing all week and wanted to share my parenting articles with you.  I hope you'll come along and take a look.  I'll be adding more as the weeks go on and I'll try to keep this blog updated.  You can subscribe to get my articles into your mailbox if you want via the site. 

As always I love to hear your feedback. 

Encourage your child to love reading

What to do if  a child misbehaves

Parenting with the law of attraction

Do you really listen to your child?

Happy Parenting. 

Wendy

A Happy and Positive Start to 2011

The beginning of a new year is always exciting.  It's a time to take stock of life.  It has long been a tradition to make New Years resolutions.  Some are kept some are broken by the 2nd of January or sooner.

Everyone wants to reach their goals and teaching kids early how to achieve the things they want is a gift they will keep with them throughout their lives. 

Several years ago I bought my own son GO FOR GOALS.  It's goal setting using the law of attraction in a way that kids understand and love. 

Kids feel enpowered and confident they will be able to achieve the things they want.

To find out more for yourself take a look at the link below.

GO FOR YOUR GOALS – How to Guide Your Kids to Achieve Great Success in Life

Praise Your Children

Look for things to praise your children for.  So many parent (including me sometimes) spend so much time focusing on what their child is doing wrong they completely miss the things they do that are fine, great, wonderful.

When your child uses good manners, acknowledge it.  When your child plays nicely acknowledge it.  You get the idea.

Make your praise genuine or your kids will know.

Please Vote For Me

Hi, As you know I've been following the Happier Kids Now Online Expo.  All the speakers have now been on (but there's still lots going on).  Anyway Patrick and Rhonda are now running a contest.  I had to let them know what were the Aha moments for me.  I've added a comment and to be in with a chance to win I'd like you to come and vote for me (Wendy Tomlinson).  Go to http://dld.bz/33XR.  You'll also be able to find out more about The Happier Kids Online Expo and the speakers.

Thanks

Wendy x

Is It Going To Be A Fun Day Or A Miserable Day?

On the way to school this morning Jack announced "Today is going to be a miserable day".  My mind instantly went into overdrive.  As a LOA mum, the last thing I want him to say is he's going to have a miserable day.  After all expecting a miserable day will attract a miserable day.

Think today will be miserable and it probably will be.
Think today is going to be a fun and happy day, it probably will be.

Here's the story behind this statement from by 9 year old son. 

Yesterday at school he was playing with some friends and reading between the lines they got a little carried away and the teacher told them they had to miss patio time (playtime) for a week. 

I've never really understood removing patio time but that's another story.

Anyway, so that's the reason he thought today was going to be miserable.  As far as Jack is concerned Patio time is the best part of the school day.  How can it possible be fun if this pleasure is removed.

After a quick reminder to think of what he wants instead of what he doesn't want, here's what I said:

"Today could be the day that something amazing happens inside and because you're not out in the patio you'll get to see it".

It goes on.

"Or, you're teacher might have got abducted by aliens last night and has had her memory wiped clean so that she can't remember that you're supposed to stay in at patio time".

And there's more.

"Or, you're classroom might suddenly transform into an enchanted world.  It only happens on certain days of the year in certain classrooms around the world and today it might be your classroom".

By this time Jack was laughing and coming up with his own ideas.

Okay my what could happen ideas are a bit bizzare but they made my son laugh as I knew they would and he went to school feeling happy about the day.  So even if he does have to stay in he'll be thinking of the fun ideas we came up with on the journey to school.

We don't always have to be realistic with our kids.  A little imagination goes a long way.

Happy Parenting

Wendy xx

Discipline - My Style

Wow, I can't believe we're already in September.  Although I have to say I'm thankful for the slightly cooler weather now.  I hope your still enjoying what's left of the summer holidays.

I was asked to write a series of How To... articles recently.  The idea is that the company gives me a title and I write an article for them.  I had 3 articles to complete this week.  The first two were no problem but the final one took a lot more though for me.  You see the title was HOW TO DISCIPINE CHILDREN.  I have to admit this is not an article title I wouyld ever have chosen myself but that's what it was and I needed to write an article. 
After several false starts I eventually wrote, what I conscider to be a great article.  Today I want to share a brief outline of "My style of discipline for children."

• Only you know what works in your family and what's important to you.
• Decide what is important and make them ground rules
• Let your children know what the ground rules are.  Be clear about what you want
• Be flexible (OCCASSIONALLY the ground rules can bend)
• Be fair
• Praise your child
• Lead by example (be a great role model)
• Make time for fun
• Make time to really listen

If your child does misbehave:

• Look at your own behaviour first.  Is your child reacting to your behaviour?
• Do they need something?  Food, drink, a hug, sleep...
• Tell them what you want and keep repeating/reminding.
• Find out why?  Sometimes your child will simply find what they are doing fun.  If it's not okay with you explain why.
• Say thank you for the behaviour you want
• No means No.  If you say no, then mean it and stick to it.
• Time out.  Time away from what they want to do in a safe place next to you, to calm down.
• Reminder of what you want
• ALWAYS treat your child with LOVE, KINDNESS and RESPECT

For me the last point is the most important.  Always treat your child with love, kindness and respect.  This is the way they learn to treat you, their friends and others they meet the same way.

I really hope you enjoy today's post.  As always please feel free to contact me on wendy@loaliving.com

Happy parenting

Wendy

P.S. I love to hear from you.  Please leave your comments below.  I always read them.

BIRTHDAY WEEK

It's birthday week.  JM will be 9 years old on Thursday.  He's growing up so fast.  Today we've been party shopping.  We're having his party at home (his choice) and he's invited a fantastic mix of friends.  I am happy to say that my son has friends ranging from little tots to people in their late 70's and loves spending time with them all.  We have around 15 children coming and 15-20 adults. 

So today we've bought a piñata and loads of toys and sweets to go inside.  We bought ballons, and shiny flag banners to decorate the garden, Wall.E plates and cups.  I managed to talk him out of the loud noisey hooter things as I thought the neighbours wouldn't appreciate the noise.

I managed to get some of the party food today but the rest will have to wait until Wednesday.  Thank goodness Granny is flying in Wednesday morning to help. 

Well I'd better get off.  Lots to do this week

Have a fabulous week and have FUN!

Wendy

I'm Declaring Today a HUG A LOT DAY

It's official. Well sort of. We've had a hectic few weeks, lots of family visiting, fiestas (village party, late nights, rubbish food and fizzy drinks. What a combination. A time bomb in the making.

I have to admit I was getting a little stressed and a few raised voices were to be heard in our home.

However we reached breaking point the other day and I could see I was letting my son down big style. He was being told off constantly yet my husband and I were not providing what he needs to be at his best.

After a long chat with my husband and a diet, sleep rethink we are back on track.

He's almost back to his normal self. Except for still being tired. So that's why I'm declaring today a HUG A LOT DAY.

Happy Parenting (sometimes takes a major rethink)

xxx

ALWAYS HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU wendy@loaliving.com

Happy Summer Holidays

Jack has started his summer holidays now and we're all so excited.  I know many of my readers homeschool and don't follow a strict school year but I want to wish each and every one of you a wonderful, fun filled, love filled summer. 
It's really common where I live to send children to summer school but whilst I think the organizers of many of the summer schools on offer put in a great deal of work it's not for us.  I asked Jack if he wanted to go and he said "NO!".  Thant's enough for me. 
I did send him a few years for part of the summer when we first lived here so that he would keep up with the language but now he's fluent and mixes well out of school.  The first year I kept him off for the whole of the summer (almost 3 months) people were full of comments like "You'll regret it," "He'll be bored in a couple of weeks".  Well we loved it and we are all looking forward to having an amazing summer. 
We have a small speadboat which is kept a few minutes walk from our home.  Yesterday my husband finished work early and off we went for the day.  It was completely spur of the moment and the freedom of having no time restraints was fantastic.
We're making a family summer 2010 book as we go along.  Lots of photo's and messages.  Then at the end of the summer we are going to have it made into a real book.  Jack is in charge of putting it all together and writing most of the messages.  We made one last year on in a notebook.  We wanted it to be a bit more grown up for Jack to do this year.  We haven't told him we're going to have it made into a real book yet.  It can be his end of summer suprise.
Whatever your summer plans are I hope you have lots of fun and thoroughly enjoy your family time together.

Happy parenting

Wendy x

Books To Read

I love reading books and have always loved to read parenting books.  The secret is to read them and take what you like and leave alone what you don't.  I particularly like to read books by other parents and how they parent their own children.  I mentioned a book I was reading a few days ago by Shmuley Boteach.  It's called Parenting with Fire.  It's been a really interesting book to read.  This is a Jewish family who follow their religion with pride and dedication.  The book does talk about their religion in connection with the family but is not a religious book.  This book is a parenting/family book.  Whilst I do not follow his religion or some of his parenting methods I think he has a strong family connection worth modeling (in your own way).

Getting ideas from a different viewpoint is a fantastic way to bring balance to your life.

Anyway, If your interested here are the details.

Press The Reset Button

Do you ever wish you had a reset button attatched to your kids?  In my home we all have a reset button.  Of course it's imaginary but we all know what it means when someone says "Press the reset button".

All of us are guilty of getting things out of proportion or behaving badly.  When Jack starts shouting and getting angry for no real reason I take hold of him and calmly say "You need to press the reset button".  He'll often march off to his room at this point but he comes out again in a much better mood. 

Pressing the reset button simply means changing your mood and thoughts so that they are positive and feel good.

The reset button is for everyone.  Jack is very keen to tell me when I need to press my reset button. 

Give it a go.  It works wonders.

Let's Have A Hug

Today my 8 year old son woke up grumpy and clearly in a bad mood.  As a law of attraction coach I know that starting the day this way can only lead to things going wrong for him all day.  This is obviously not what I want for my little guy. 
He was cross about something and nothing was going his way.  This had to stop right away.

I sat down on the bed as he tugged and pulled at his bed covers trying to find something he'd lost in there.  I pulled him toward me and put my arms around him.  His body felt tense and stiff.  He was resisting my cuddles.  Hmm, that doesn't last for long though.  I gently rubbed his back and talk calmly to him. 
"A cuddle is a nice way to start the day"
"It's so important to start the day happy.  Let go of all those grumpy feelings now.  They're not your friends"
Gradually I felt his body relax.  We slowly snuggled up to me and I knew he was feeling happier.
All the time I was visualizing him being calm and relaxed.

Our morning continued relaxed and calm.  He went to school happy and I watched him run in with a smile on his face knowing he'd have a good morning.

This could have gone totally different and believe me when I say I've had very different mornings to this in the past.  As parents our actions have a massive impact on our children.  If I had rushed him and told him to stop being grumpy he would have simply got more and more angry until we ended up yelling at each other and both having miserable days.

I used to believe that being a parent is the hardest job in the world.  Now I don't.  Now I know it is the most important job in the world and when we choose it, there is an easy way. 

Happy Parenting.

As always my love and support

Wendy x

Affirmations For Children

Here's a picture of Jack in Florida.  He's Just made his own Pizza.  It's going off to the oven to be cooked.  Looks good doesn't it?  I think we've got a little chef on our hands. 

***

I love affirmations and I try to use them with my son as often as possible.  A word of warning here.  Make your affirmations natural and genuine.

You're a great listener (when he's sat quietly and listened to you even for 1 minute)
You are so clever, you read so well
You are great at riding your bike
I love you (Yes, this is a very powerful affirmation which is sometimes overlooked)
You are such an important part of this family
You are so polite.

I'm sure you can add many more to this list.  Always use the present tense and always be positive.
As parents, it's actually easy to slip up and give out a negative message without meaning to.  A few weeks I was tired and a little short tempered and my son was getting all his toys out.  We have a rule of put one lot of toys away before you get more out.  He doesn't always remember and normally I just remind him and he sorts it.  However as I was already tired and not in the best mood already I said (in a grumpy mummy voice) "Aargh Jack you're driving me crazy.  You're so messy.  If you don't tidy up in the next 5 minutes they will all go in the bin."  Wow, was I in a bad mood.  My son however, up until that point had been in a very good mood then began getting angry.  He felt I was being a mean mummy, which of course I was.

This not so good scene carried on  for a few minutes, until I finally had that "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" moment.  I took hold of my son, took a deep breath and quietly said to him.  "I'm sorry, mummy is feeling tired and grumpy.  I was wrong to say that to you."  I went on to explain he still needed to tidy away some of his toys and I went and lay down on my bed for 5 minutes.  I closed my eyes and just let it all go.  I then went through the things I love about my son and the things I have to be grateful for.  When I returned to the room a few minutes later Jack was busy playing with his cars and all his other toys had been tidied away. 
I made it a priority to use plenty of positive affirmations for the rest of that day.

I think most of us have the odd day when we know we're doing it all wrong.  It's not the end of the world.  As long as your child knows that he is loved and you say sorry and put things right, it's okay.  Here are my 3 rules for when we get it wrong.

• Recognize we're not behaving the way we like
• Stop, say "Sorry" and take a breather.
• Move on using positive parenting.

The move on part is essential.  If you dwell on it your child will feel it and for you it's like emotionally beating yourself up.  It serves no purpose.  Move on and be a positive role model for your kids.  NOBODY gets it right all the time.

Sleeping Angels

Wow!  No, really - Wow!

I was told about Sleeping Angels sometime ago by a good friend.  She told me about a CD she had which she had bought for her son.  She was so excited about it and said she couldn't believe the diference in her son.  She told me she'd "been pulling her hair out".  She went on to tell me how he went from being generally rude and bad tempered to being polite and helpful in a matter of days.  I've used positive affirmation CD's before so I didn't really feel the need to buy another. 

However, I decided I'd download some information about the CD and thought I'd let you all know about it at some stage.  After all this is what my aim is for this blog, to let you know about ways to help you and your child be positive and happy.  So a couple of nights ago I looked up the website address I'd been given and as I read the information I just knew I needed this CD.  The price was great so I downloaded the recording immediately to my computer and burned it onto a disk. 

My 8 year old son was already sleeping by this time.  In the information it says that you can play the recordings whilst your child is sleeping.  So I put it on play and continued playing the CD for about 3 hours until I went to bed. 

The words used are beautiful and so positive.  I felt great hearing the words too.  Research has shown that we (children included) take in what is being said even when we are sleeping. 

My son is a lovely boy and in general polite and happy but a 29 hour journey with about 2 hours sleep and general disruption to his life over Christmas took it's toll on his behaviour.  I have to admit, that's a trait he gets from me.  It took it's toll on my behaviour too.  For the first two nights I played the CD only once he was sleeping. A concept my husband cannot get to grips with at all.  Last night I put the CD on whilst he was awake but sleepy.  I told him it was all the nice things I thought about him recorded onto a CD and that I loved him.  He was fast asleep in a few minutes. 

On the recording you'll hear things like :

You're a great child
You must be so proud of the way you behave
You always go to bed on time
You have the most beautiful manners
I love the way you're such a happy child

There are many, many more really positive affirmations set to lovely peaceful music.

Oh, by the way I purchased the download for children 5-12 year.  There are downloads for younger children, teens, parents and for special areas such as bedwetting.

This is a beautiful CD.  I'm so pleased I decided to purchase the download. 

Please let me know if you've had experience with Sleeping Angels or download any of the recordings.  I love hearing from you about you own experiences.

For more information Click Here!

Have a wonderful day

Wendy x